


Are You Awake?

by 3hree6ix5ive



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6047614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3hree6ix5ive/pseuds/3hree6ix5ive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude feels insecure. They talk. idk, I suck at writing summaries more than I suck at coming up with titles. Sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Awake?

**Author's Note:**

> This is longer than I intended. There's also accidental smut.  
> I also hate this title. Sorry.  
> 

"Are you still awake? " Jude whispers as quietly as he can. He felt Zero's breathing even out a few minutes ago and he doesn't want to wake him. Jude knows he should sleep too. He knows he should just shut off his brain and enjoy this moment. He should bask in being happy for once, and savour the feeling of loving and being loved.

If Zero were still awake he would tease Jude for being anxious, but worrying is what he does, worrying is so intrinsic to who he is that Jude would worry if he wasn't worried about something. 

He needs to be alert and stay on top of things, especially now. He needs to handle the media, the team, the league, and everything else he still hasn't considered. Zero put his career on the line for him. It's his turn to take care of Zero now. He knows he should get up and make a list, get his phone to check his messages, but he's warm and comfortable with Zero sleeping next to him, and he can't find the motivation to move.

Jude wonders if the last few hours have been a dream, or perhaps he was in an accident and his brain went to this place where something good finally happened to him. 

He knows that's not true, knows that all of this did actually happen. But for all the ways he imagined things working out with Zero, and Jude thought about it a lot, he definitely didn't consider it playing out like this. How could he? When he said he didn't want to be a secret he meant, well he's not sure what he meant exactly, but a public declaration of this magnitude was the last thing he expected. 

After what Jude will forever refer to as THE KISS, the shit hit the fan. The media gathered around them, taking pictures, asking questions, taking more pictures, asking even more questions. He didn't know what to do but Zero did. Zero didn't acknowledge any of them. He simply walked off the court, pulling Jude with him.

They snuck out through a side door and headed for his place. Left Pete and Lionel and everyone else to handle whatever it was that needed handling.. 

They were naked and on his couch in a matter of seconds. They couldn't stop touching and kissing. Everything felt so different now. Every kiss, every touch was a rush of euphoria. It was pure bliss. 

Jude remembers being up against a wall, he remembers a shower, he even remembers sharing a bowl of cereal after sex in the kitchen. He's pretty sure they knocked over a lamp, or maybe it was the coffee table. 

Jude wouldn't care if they destroyed his entire apartment. Fuck the damage deposit. It was fucking worth it. Things like this don't happen to him. People don't pick him. People take him for granted, people use him and cast him aside when he's no longer useful. People don't make sacrifices for him.

And yet, he has everything he wants. He's naked in bed, spooned into Zero's body, with Zero's muscular arm holding him close, holding tight like he doesn't want to let Jude go. He's pleasantly sore all over. It's a sore that feels good because this was the most free they've ever felt, nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of, no secrets, not anymore. 

They both left left bite marks, finger-shaped bruises and red splotches all over each other's bodies. For a passing second Jude thinks about work tomorrow, what people will think or say about the marks he can't hide under a suit. Part of him wants to strut around shirtless so everyone can see, _hell yeah, I turned him on so much he did that to my back. I made him feel that good. Me, that guy you never paid any attention? Me, I'm responsible for that._

Before, when they were just _fuck buddies_ as Zero called it, Jude only slept alone when the team travelled for away games. When the team stayed in LA, Zero was always over. He was there when Jude got home, eating cereal while watching TV. He was there when Jude got home late, half asleep on the sofa, telling Jude to heat up the take out in the kitchen. 

Zero was just there for sex at first, good sex, great sex even, but Jude knew that sex is all that it was. Then Zero started spend the night. More often than not, they ended up cuddling, or spooning like they were now. Jude knew better than to mention it, even though it fucked with his head, fucked with his heart. 

As far as Jude knew, Zero wasn't sleeping with anyone else. _Didn't this mean they were exclusive?_ There were so many times Jude wanted to tell Zero that they were already doing what couples did, why not make it official, but he worried that Zero would leave and never come back. That he'd purposefully get a girlfriend and show her off, just to prove him wrong.

And now, after THE KISS they were a couple, maybe? He wasn't sure. They hadn't talked about anything yet. Jude knows they need to talk, figure out what this means for them. He knows he won't be able to relax until he knows what Zero wants.

"Zero," Jude whispers again, a little louder this time, "are you awake?"

Zero grumbles as he pulls Jude closer, holding him even tighter than before. "Wore me out," Zero presses a chaste kiss to Jude's neck. "Sleep now. I'll fuck you in the morning." 

"That's not why, I was just," Jude sighs, "never mind." He squeezes Zero's arm, "sorry I woke you."

He feels Zero's body tense behind him. "Too late for that now, isn't it?"

"Sorry," Jude frowns. It's only been five hours since Zero kissed him in front of everyone, only five hours since Zero gave him everything he's ever wanted, only five hours and he's already fucking up. _Why can't I ever get anything right?_

Zero sighs and Jude can tell that Zero is wide awake now. "That's not what I meant Jude. I just meant," Zero pulls away and rolls onto his back. "It's just that you think so loudly sometimes. I know you, alright? I know you'll stay up all night thinking about whatever it is you're thinking about and you'll be exhausted and cranky tomorrow. I know something's bothering you. Just tell what I did. Please," Zero pleads softly, "I want to know."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Jude reassures. "It's not even important really. I don't know why I'm even thinking about this right now." 

"It's clearly important if you're thinking about it at," Zero half sits up to look at the alarm clock, "four in the morning. Jesus Jude, we have to be up in three hours and I want morning sex so we need to rest."

Jude laughs, "how can you think about sex now after everything we just did?"

"How can I not?" Zero asks. "Even now, after all this, you still have no idea how hot you are? How much I want you?" 

Jude huffs. He doesn't know what to say when Zero says things like this to him. And Zero always says things like this, especially when he least expects it. 

No one has ever said things like this to him. No one has ever wanted him the way that Zero wants him. 

No one looks at him the way Zero is looking at him now, like he wants everything Jude has to offer, like he accepts all the parts of him, even the parts Jude wishes he could change, those parts that keep Jude from opening up to people, because the people that have seen his insecurities usually decide his baggage isn't worth it, that he isn't worth it. 

"Why did you change your mind? You said you couldn't be with me and then you kissed me in front of everyone." Jude isn't sure he wants to hear the answer. He worries that Zero didn't think this through, and when he takes the time to reflect, he'll regret everything. He'll regret choosing Jude. 

Zero runs his hand through his hair. "I meant what I said to you; I missed you Jude. I thought about you all the time. Even now, I think about you all the time. I think about you when I'm not with you. Fuck, I even think about you when I'm with you. I wonder what you're thinking about when you get that look on your face because something happened to you, or someone said something to you. I wonder if you're happy, if I'm making you happy, if I could make you happier, or if I should leave you alone. I .. I changed my mind because," Zero stops talking and shakes his head. 

"Because what?" Jude breaks the silence, needing to know and not wanting to know at the same time. 

"I changed my mind because I'm selfish," he shrugs, "because you make me happy. I kissed you because I don't like missing you. It fucking sucks."

"I don't like it either," Jude bites his lower lip, "and for the record, tonight after the game? That's the happiest I've ever been. Ever. All thanks to you."

"And what happens if I stop making you happy," Zero says it so quietly that Jude isn't sure if he heard at first. "I can't go back to missing you again. It was hard enough the first time."

"I've wanted this for so long," Jude affirms, "if that happens, we'll figure it out." He looks Zero in the eyes when he says it. He needs Zero to know how much he means it. 

Zero smiles at him, that soft, shy smile that Jude knows is just for him. Jude wants to kiss him, so he does, slow and sweet. It's a kiss with the promise of more, not just for tonight, but for the days, weeks and months to come. 

"Can I ask you something else?" Jude asks. Zero nods so Jude continues, "when, uhh, when did you know that you liked boys?"

"Really Jude?" Zero laughs. "Are we going to give each other manicures and braid our hair now?"

"I don't have any hair that can be braided, you on the other hand," Jude runs his fingers through Zero's hair.

"Shut up," Zero laughs and pushes Jude away, just momentarily Jude notes, because Zero pulls him back again a few seconds later. 

"There was this guy," Zero says after a few moments, "at the rec centre. I was twelve, maybe thirteen, I don't remember. He was shooting hoops after school. It was really hot that day so he wasn't wearing a shirt, just these shorts, riding low on his hips. He must been playing for awhile because he was covered in sweat. It was," Zero laughs, "I went home and jerked off thinking about him." 

"Was he the first guy you had sex with?"

Zero shakes his head, "he was in high school and I was just an annoying kid."

"Who was your first?"

"Why do you want to know all of this?"

"I just want to know more about you. I want to know everything about you."

Zero doesn't respond and Jude thinks he's pushed too far, asked for too much, too soon, because he wants to know about the painful childhood that Zero has put behind him, because he's asking about things that Zero doesn't want to remember. 

"His name was Evan. This new kid at school. He had curly black hair and green eyes. He was hot."

"What happened?" 

"We kissed, he put his hand on my dick, I liked it so we had sex," Zero shrugs, "you want actual details?"

"I meant after that," Jude rolls his eyes, "when you saw him at school or whatever."

"It was a one-time only thing. It's always been a one time thing until you. You're the only man who made me want to come back."

"Why?" Jude asks. 

Zero shrugs, "you already mattered. I already liked spending time with you. Sleeping with you just amplified everything. I didn't know any of those other guys. I didn't need to," Zero runs his hand through his hair, "being with you was, is different, different from anyone, women too."

Jude pretends to pick some lint from his pillow. "I don't know what to say when you say things like that. No one's ever said things like this to me."

"Dumbasses." Zero looks at him with that soft smile, "so spill it. Tell me when you knew."

Jude shrugs, "I think I always knew but I didn't _know_ , you know what I mean? Nothing ever felt right with girls. It never felt," Jude waves his hand back and forth between them, "it never felt like this. I got dumped a lot with the _it's not you, it's me_ speech but I knew it was me. Because I just wasn't interesting enough, because I wasn't good in bed. Dating women was exhausting; sleeping with them was even more exhausting."

"You never looked at guys in magazines?" 

Jude shakes his head, "I really didn't know for sure until you kissed me."

"You mean when _you_ kissed me," Zero corrects.

"No, no," Jude shakes his head, "no, it was when you kissed me. Remember, I wanted to go to that party to meet --"

"-- oh right, _Danny, the assistant from the shoot_."

"Are you still jealous?" Jude laughs. "So you kissed me and I pulled away and thought, _yep, gay definitely gay_ , so I kissed you back and well you know the rest."

"God, you turned me on so much that night. You were so loud, so hot. I couldn't get enough of you. Should have been my first clue that we'd end up here."

Jude bites his lip, "you uhh, wanna have sex now?"

Zero laughs, "I think we need to rest before we can do anything."

"I don't know," Jude smirks as he straddles Zero and grinds down, "I'm good to go."

Zero grabs Jude's hips and holds him tight. "Not gonna let me sleep tonight, huh?"

Jude shakes his head, "nope," he grinds his hips down again, "so shut the fuck up and give me what I want." 

Zero raises his eyebrows, "kiss a guy in front of 20,000 people and suddenly he's a diva."

Jude laughs, "if anyone is the diva in this relationship, it's you," he leans down and kisses Zero on the mouth. It's demanding, full of passion and desire. "Come on, please," he pleads, "please, please, please. Fuck me please."

"Jesus," Zero groans. He sits up and pulls Jude closer, so he's sitting on his lap, "you're so hot when you beg." He peppers Jude's neck with kisses. "Sit on it,' he demands, thrusting his hips a little, urging Jude on, "ride me."

Jude likes this idea. "Yeah, yeah. Yea okay," he puts one hand on the headboard for leverage and weaves the other into Zero's hair. He pulls Zero's head back so they can look each other in the eyes, to let Zero know who's in control this time. 

Jude likes driving things between them, likes taking charge, likes making Zero feel good. He yanks Zero's hair a bit tighter, pulls his head back a bit and the look on Zero's face almost does him in. It's lust, desire, want, and awe all at once. Jude has never felt so sexy, as desired as he does right now. 

He decides to take things slowly. He wants to take his time and take Zero apart. Jude lifts up and lowers himself down slowly until he's seated on Zero's lap. Zero pulls him closer with a satisfied sigh and Jude wraps his legs around Zero's waist. He presses his fingers hard into Zero's back, leaving more marks, leaving his mark. 

He pushes his nose into Zero's neck, breathes deep and licks some of the sweat from there. He kisses down to Zero's shoulder, and then back up again. He kisses everywhere he can reach. 

"So good. So fucking good. Go faster," Zero urges, "come on, faster."

"No," Jude slows down even more, determined to have things his way, "this is what I want."

"Please," Zero begs again.

"No," Jude kisses Zero's jaw. "You like this." It's not a question. It's a declaration. It's telling Zero, _I know you better than you know yourself_. It's staking _his_ claim, not just because he wants to, but because he can. 

At that, Zero whines. Jude is so shocked that he stops mid-thrust, unsure he heard what he thinks he heard, until Zero makes the noise again. And Jude knows no matter what happens between them, no matter how long he lives, he will never forget that sound.

"I love you," Jude tells him, "so very much." 

It's only the second time he's said this and Jude can tell immediately that this catches Zero off-guard, because Zero's eyes open quickly, he looks at Jude, wide-eyed, as if he's in shock, like he never expected to hear those words again, like no one's ever said this to him in bed before. Jude likes to think that he's the first so maybe he'll always have a special place in Zero's heart. 

"That's cheating," Zero gasps and shudders, "not fair. I can't. Fuck." And while Jude didn't expect this round to last long, he certainly didn't think it would be over this quickly either. Zero presses his face into Jude's neck. He's still shivering and gasping so Jude runs his arms up and down Zero's back. 

"Give me a minute," Zero huffs a laugh, "I need a minute to ... fuck that was ... shit, we are totally doing that again."

"Right now?" Jude smirks. He knows he's being cheeky. He's earned it after making Zero fall apart like that. 

Zero seems to agree. He kisses Jude once, twice, and then once more. "Get on your back," he pushes Jude onto the mattress. 

"Why?"

"I want to take care of you the way you took care of me," Zero works his mouth down Jude's body. "You deserve a reward. I want to suck you off."

Jude puts his hand on Zero's neck to stop him. "That kiss was enough." He means it too. That kiss was everything to him.

Zero ignores him, "You deserve so much more," he says right before taking Jude in his mouth. 

Jude runs his fingers through Zero's hair, pushing and pulling at it gently. He hoped he would last longer, but it's too much, too soon, it's Zero's hands, it's Zero's mouth, it's Zero.

"Hm, you're really good at that," Jude smiles as he rubs Zero's lower lip with his thumb.

"I love you," Zero kisses Jude on the cheek, then his mouth, and then rests his head on Jude's chest. 

Jude doesn't say anything to that. He knows he doesn't have to. Instead, he wraps an arm around Zero. They have a tough few days, maybe even weeks, ahead of them. There will be media and the team to deal with in a few hours. There will be paparazzi watching their every move.

"Sleep," Zero mumbles into his chest, "we'll figure it out in the morning."

"Okay," Jude says, because he trust Zero. He trusts that Zero wants this, that Zero wants him. Jude knows that Zero always gets what he wants, and this time, it's him.


End file.
